Staying safe while single is nearly impossible. First, I was abandoned by an ex who decided to lock down with someone else.
Then the Cadillac of Vibrators I wasted my stimulus check on almost killed me. Right when it was getting good—Zap!
Clutching the end of my rope, I turned on the news to bore me to sleep only to be orgasm-shamed on live TV. Somehow my replacement vibrator almost incited a nationwide walkout.
As if it wasn’t hard enough to deal with all this stress, a simple knock during lockdown sends me into MMA mode. Not cool.
“Joy Repair, ma’am.”
“But I didn’t call you?”
“Your vibrator did.”
Why not escape lockdown with some dirty, sexy fun?
Just like our fantasies, nothing is off-limits in Quarentimeout but COVID.